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Fuller, O. E. (Osgood Eaton), 1835-1900

"Brave Men and Women Their Struggles, Failures, And Triumphs"

"
With unwilling hounds it is hard to hunt hares. To go against nature and
inclination is to row against wind and tide. They say you may praise a
fool till you make him useful. I don't know so much about that, but I do
know that if I get a bad knife I generally cut my finger, and a blunt
axe is more trouble than profit. No, let me shave with a razor if I
shave at all, and do my work with the best tools I can get.
Never set a man to work he is not fit for, for he will never do it well.
They say that if pigs fly they always go with their tails forward, and
awkward workmen are much the same. Nobody expects cows to catch crows,
or hens to wear hats. There's reason in roasting eggs, and there should
be reason in choosing servants. Don't put a round peg into a square
hole, nor wind up your watch with a corkscrew, nor set a tender-hearted
man to whip wife-beaters, nor a bear to be a relieving-officer, nor a
publican to judge of the licensing laws. Get the right man in the right
place, and then all goes as smooth as skates on ice; but the wrong man
puts all awry, as the sow did when she folded the linen.

TWO DOGS FIGHT FOR A BONE, AND A THIRD RUNS AWAY WITH IT.

We have all heard of the two men who quarreled over an oyster, and
called in a judge to settle the question; he ate the oyster himself, and
gave them a shell each. This reminds me of the story of the cow which
two farmers could not agree about, and so the lawyers stepped in and
milked the cow for them, and charged them for their trouble in drinking
the milk.


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