Let
then the confessions of Henrique serve as a beacon to those who are
inclined to yield to the first impulse; when, alarmed at the discovery
of their errors, they will find that conviction has arrived too late,
and that, like me, they will be irresistibly impelled against the
struggles of reason and of conscience.
I am an Englishman by birth: my parents were called away before I was
five years old; yet still I have a dreaming memory of my mother--a faint
recollection of one at whose knees I used, each night, to hold up my
little hands in orison, and who blessed her child as she laid him to
repose.
But I lost those whose precepts might have been valuable to me in
after-life, and was left to the guardianship of one who thought that, in
attending to my worldly interests, he fulfilled the whole duty which was
required of him. My education was not neglected, but there was no one to
advise me upon points of more serious importance. Naturally of a fiery
and impatient temper,--endued with a perseverance which was only
increased by the obstacles which presented themselves, I encouraged any
feeling to be working in my mind in preference to repose, which was
hateful. To such excess did it arrive as I grew up, that difficulty and
danger, even pain and remorse, were preferable to that calm sunshine of
the breast which others consider so enviable. I could exist but by
strong sensations: remove them, and I felt as does the habitual drunkard
in the morning, until his nerves have been again stimulated by a
repetition of his draughts.
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