It may be a source of astonishment that I arrived at the age of thirty
without ever feeling the sensation of love; but so it was. This most
powerful of excitements, which was so to influence my future existence,
had not yet been called into action: but it was roused at last, and,
like the hurricane, swept every thing before it in ruin and desolation.
I was at Cadiz, where I had arrived with a valuable cargo, when it was
proposed that I should witness the ceremony of taking the White Veil. As
the young woman who professed was of a noble family, and the solemnity
was to be conducted with the greatest splendour, I consented. The
magnificent decorations of the church, the harmony of the singing, the
solemn pealing of the organ, the splendid robes of the priests in
contrast with the sombre humility of the friars and nuns, the tossing of
the censers, the ascending clouds of frankincense, and, above all, the
extreme beauty of the fair devotee,--produced feelings of interest which
I had not imagined could have been raised from any description of
pageantry. When the ceremony was over, I quitted the church with new and
powerful sensations, which at the time I could not precisely analyse.
But when I lay down on my couch, I perceived that, although the
splendour of the rites were but faint in my recollection, the image of
the sweet girl kneeling before the altar was engraven on my heart. I
felt an uneasiness, a restlessness, a vacuum in my bosom, which, like
that in the atmosphere, is the forerunner of the tempest.
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