Again I addressed her,
imploring another meeting; but received a firm denial. So far from being
baffled at this addition to the obstacles which presented themselves, it
but increased my determination to surmount them. To overcome her duty to
her parents, to induce her to trample on her vows to God, to defy the
torments of the Inquisition, to release her from bolts and bars, to
escape from a fortified and crowded city--each and every difficulty but
inflamed my ardour--every appeal of conscience but added to my willful
determination.
Although hitherto I had abhorred deceit, my first act was one of
duplicity. I wrote to her, stating that I had been permitted an
interview with her friends, and had made known to them what had passed;
that they had listened to me, and were disposed to yield; and although
it was kept a secret from her, in a few months her vows would be
dispensed with.
How cruel--how selfish was my conduct! but it answered my intention.
Buoyed up with the prospect of future happiness, Rosina no longer
struggled against the fatal passion--no longer refused to see me, and
listen to my vows of eternal fidelity. Deeper and deeper did she drink
of the intoxicating draught, until it had effaced from her mind, as it
had already done from mine, every other sensation than that of love.
Although I could have kissed the ground which she trod upon, and have
suffered the torments of a martyr for her sake, it was with the pleasure
of a demon that I witnessed my success, and hailed her falling off from
religion and from virtue.
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