***
The Vacant Land Cultivation Society offers a prize of ten shillings
for the heaviest potato. Some of our most notorious potato-tellers are
expected to compete.
***
The provision of steel helmets for the Metropolitan Police is all
right so far as it goes, but the Force is still asking why it cannot
be furnished with some protection for its other extremities.
***
From China it is reported that an aboriginal priest now claiming
the Throne has been accustomed to eat the flesh of tigers, wolves,
leopards, &c., also the human heart. It is, however, only fair to our
own restaurateurs to state that, though China is alleged to be on the
eve of war, there is as yet no food-control in that country.
***
An unusual scarcity of wasps is reported from various parts of the
country. Nothing is being done about it.
***
A calf has been sold for two thousand seven hundred guineas in
Aberdeenshire. The plucky purchaser is understood to have had for some
time past a craving for a veal cutlet.
***
A new form of frightfulness is evidently being practised upon their
guards by our interned Huns. "Some of them," says a contemporary,
"purchase a hundred cigars with a portion of the one pound a day which
is the miserable maximum they may spend on luxuries.
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