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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, October 17, 1917"

I shall enter you as Married Man."
"Enter me as anything you like," I said, "only let's get on with the
job."
"Very well; you're down as Married Man."
"Now get on with the children. Muriel first. What about her?"
"But she's away having her education finished."
"Yes," I said, "but she'll be back for the holidays, and she'll want
her sugar then, like the rest of us. And Frederick is away at _his_
school, probably getting much better sugar than we are. He'll be
wanting his ration in the holidays. You'd better put a note about
that."
"A note?" she said. "There's no room for notes on this form. All they
want is a bald statement. And that's just what they can't get. They'll
have to take it with the hair on. I'm cramming in about the holidays,
and I hope Lord RHONDDA will be pleased with all the information he's
getting about our family."
"Keep going," I said; "you've still got the servants to do."
"Yes, but the kitchenmaid's gone, and I haven't engaged another one
yet."
"Don't let that worry you," I said. "Write down--Kitchenmaid about to
be engaged. Name will be supplied later.'"
"You're quite brilliant to-day. There, that's finished, thank Heaven."
"Not yet. You've got to address it to the Local Food Office."
"But I haven't the remotest where the Local Food Office is.


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