My physical
misery was now so great that it prevented me from dwelling on the
scenes witnessed on the previous evening. Nature was again
merciful in this. I only remembered that it was necessary to
hide myself, in case the Indians should be still in the
neighbourhood and pay the wood a visit. Slowly and painfully I
crept away into the forest, and there sat for several hours,
scarcely thinking at all, in a half-stupefied condition. At noon
the sun shone out and dried the wood. I felt no hunger, only a
vague sense of bodily misery, and with it the fear that if I left
my hiding-place I might meet some human creature face to face.
This fear prevented me from stirring until the twilight came,
when I crept forth and made my way to the border of the forest,
to spend the night there. Whether sleep visited me during the
dark hours or not I cannot say: day and night my condition seemed
the same; I experienced only a dull sensation of utter misery
which seemed in spirit and flesh alike, an inability to think
clearly, or for more than a few moments consecutively, about
anything. Scenes in which I had been principal actor came and
went, as in a dream when the will slumbers: now with devilish
ingenuity and persistence I was working on Managa's mind; now
standing motionless in the forest listening for that sweet,
mysterious melody; now staring aghast at old Cla-cla's wide-open
glassy eyes and white hair dabbled in blood; then suddenly, in
the cave at Riolama, I was fondly watching the slow return of
life and colour to Rima's still face.
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