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Routledge, George, 1812-1888

"Routledge's Manual of Etiquette"

True love is generally delicate and timid, and may easily be
scared by affected indifference, through feelings of wounded pride.
A lover needs very little to assure him of the reciprocation of his
attachment: a glance, a single pressure of hand, a whispered syllable
on the part of the loved one, will suffice to confirm his hopes.

_Refusal by the Young Lady_.
When a lady rejects the proposal of a gentleman, her behaviour should
be characterised by the most delicate feeling towards one who, in
offering her his hand, has proved his desire to confer upon her, by
this implied preference for her above all other women, the greatest
honour it is in his power to offer. Therefore, if she have no love for
him, she ought at least to evince a tender regard for his feelings;
and, in the event of her being previously engaged, should at once
acquaint him with the fact. No right-minded man would desire to
persist in a suit when he well knew that the object of his admiration
has already disposed of her heart.
When a gentleman makes an offer of his hand by letter, the letter
must be answered, and certainly not returned, should the answer be a
refusal; unless, indeed, when, from a previous repulse, or some other
particular and special circumstances, such an offer may be regarded
by the lady or her relatives as presumptuous and intrusive. Under such
circumstances, the letter may be placed by the lady in the hands of
her parents or guardian, to be dealt with by them as they may deem
most advisable.


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