We both despised the wretched JOE,
My fag at school, your butt at College.
Dull, elephantine, pompous, slow,
Choked with absurdly useful knowledge.
Yet JOE assists to give us laws,
Speaks in the House, and shows his fat form,
'Midst empty thunders of applause,
Erect on many a Tory platform.
And poor, inconsequential JACK,
His mind a maze, like Mr. TOOTS's,
Has married money, keeps a hack,
And has a big account at COUTTS's.
TOM owns a house in Belgrave Square,
And DICK is noted for his dinners--
Life is a race, but was it fair,
We asked, that _these_ should be the winners?
We, too, would win; and Heaven knows
What vows we uttered fiery-hearted,
While '89 drew to its close,
And '90 found us--so we parted.
* * * * *
And here, good lack, while '90 wanes,
Our candles flaring in their sockets,
We sit once more and count our gains--
Wrinkles, grey hairs, and empty pockets.
Yet, Heaven be thanked that made us friends;
Men prate of wealth in empty words, I
Sit here content as '90 ends.
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