_May_.--You may say of the 1st, if it is cold, that it is a "naughty
date." If you are asked for a reason for this assertion, apologise and
explain that you meant a "_Connaughty_ date, for it is Prince ARTHUR's
Birthday." The claims of loyalty should secure for this quaint conceit
a right hearty welcome. In 1812, on the 22nd, GRISI the celebrated
songstress was born. At a distance of four hundred miles from
London, in extremely unsophisticated society, you may perhaps
venture something about the notes of this far-famed artist being like
"lubricated lightning" for evident reasons, but you must not expect
any one to laugh.
_June_.--The name of this month may assist you to a joke here and
there in regard to a well-known ecclesiastical lawyer and Queen's
Counsel. This will be the more valuable, as the "remarkable days" are
few and far between, according to WHITAKER.
_July_.--Note that on the 3rd the Dog Days commence, and that it is
also the anniversary of the Battle of Sadowa. If you pronounce the
victory "sad-hour" you should get a jest calculated to cause merriment
amongst persons who have spent the best years of their lives on desert
islands, or as Chancery Division Chief Clerks.
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