But the mercury of those days had a trick
of falling unexpectedly. First, only for one minute in ten had
she a sense of depression. Then a large cloud, that had been
hanging in the north like a black fleece, came and placed itself
between her and the sun. It helped on what was already
inevitable, and she sank into a uniformity of sadness.
She turned in the saddle and looked back. They were now on an
open table-land, whose altitude still gave her a view of the sea
by Endelstow. She looked longingly at that spot.
During this little revulsion of feeling Pansy had been still
advancing, and Elfride felt it would be absurd to turn her little
mare's head the other way. 'Still,' she thought, 'if I had a
mamma at home I WOULD go back!'
And making one of those stealthy movements by which women let
their hearts juggle with their brains, she did put the horse's
head about, as if unconsciously, and went at a hand-gallop towards
home for more than a mile. By this time, from the inveterate
habit of valuing what we have renounced directly the alternative
is chosen, the thought of her forsaken Stephen recalled her, and
she turned about, and cantered on to St. Launce's again.
This miserable strife of thought now began to rage in all its
wildness. Overwrought and trembling, she dropped the rein upon
Pansy's shoulders, and vowed she would be led whither the horse
would take her.
Pansy slackened her pace to a walk, and walked on with her
agitated burden for three or four minutes.
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