I
may have acquired some skill in this practice through having been
an ugly lonely woman for so many years, with nobody to give me
information; a thing you will not consider strange when the
parallel case is borne in mind,--how truly people who have no
clocks will tell the time of day.'
'Ay, that they will,' said Mr. Swancourt corroboratively. 'I have
known labouring men at Endelstow and other farms who had framed
complete systems of observation for that purpose. By means of
shadows, winds, clouds, the movements of sheep and oxen, the
singing of birds, the crowing of cocks, and a hundred other sights
and sounds which people with watches in their pockets never know
the existence of, they are able to pronounce within ten minutes of
the hour almost at any required instant. That reminds me of an
old story which I'm afraid is too bad--too bad to repeat.' Here
the vicar shook his head and laughed inwardly.
'Tell it--do!' said the ladies.
'I mustn't quite tell it.'
'That's absurd,' said Mrs. Swancourt.
'It was only about a man who, by the same careful system of
observation, was known to deceive persons for more than two years
into the belief that he kept a barometer by stealth, so exactly
did he foretell all changes in the weather by the braying of his
ass and the temper of his wife.'
Elfride laughed.
'Exactly,' said Mrs. Swancourt. 'And in just the way that those
learnt the signs of nature, I have learnt the language of her
illegitimate sister--artificiality; and the fibbing of eyes, the
contempt of nose-tips, the indignation of back hair, the laughter
of clothes, the cynicism of footsteps, and the various emotions
lying in walking-stick twirls, hat-liftings, the elevation of
parasols, the carriage of umbrellas, become as A B C to me.
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