For she might have had a lover, and never have cared in
the least for him. She might have used the word improperly, and
meant 'admirer' all the time. Of course she had been admired; and
one man might have made his admiration more prominent than that of
the rest--a very natural case.
They were sitting on one of the garden seats when he found
occasion to put the supposition to the test. 'Did you love that
lover or admirer of yours ever so little, Elfie?'
She murmured reluctantly, 'Yes, I think I did.'
Knight felt the same faint touch of misery. 'Only a very little?'
he said.
'I am not sure how much.'
'But you are sure, darling, you loved him a little?'
'I think I am sure I loved him a little.'
'And not a great deal, Elfie?'
'My love was not supported by reverence for his powers.'
'But, Elfride, did you love him deeply?' said Knight restlessly.
'I don't exactly know how deep you mean by deeply.'
'That's nonsense.'
'You misapprehend; and you have let go my hand!' she cried, her
eyes filling with tears. 'Harry, don't be severe with me, and
don't question me. I did not love him as I do you. And could it
be deeply if I did not think him cleverer than myself? For I did
not. You grieve me so much--you can't think.'
'I will not say another word about it.'
'And you will not think about it, either, will you? I know you
think of weaknesses in me after I am out of your sight; and not
knowing what they are, I cannot combat them.
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