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Hardy, Thomas, 1840-1928

"A Pair of Blue Eyes"

He thought again
of those idle words--hitherto quite forgotten--about the first
kiss of a girl, and the theory seemed more than reasonable. Of
course their sting now lay in their bearing on Elfride.
Elfride, under Knight's kiss, had certainly been a very different
woman from herself under Stephen's. Whether for good or for ill,
she had marvellously well learnt a betrothed lady's part; and the
fascinating finish of her deportment in this second campaign did
probably arise from her unreserved encouragement of Stephen.
Knight, with all the rapidity of jealous sensitiveness, pounced
upon some words she had inadvertently let fall about an earring,
which he had only partially understood at the time. It was during
that 'initial kiss' by the little waterfall:
'We must be careful. I lost the other by doing this!'
A flush which had in it as much of wounded pride as of sorrow,
passed over Knight as he thought of what he had so frequently said
to her in his simplicity. 'I always meant to be the first comer
in a woman's heart, fresh lips or none for me.' How childishly
blind he must have seemed to this mere girl! How she must have
laughed at him inwardly! He absolutely writhed as he thought of
the confession she had wrung from him on the boat in the darkness
of night. The one conception which had sustained his dignity when
drawn out of his shell on that occasion--that of her charming
ignorance of all such matters--how absurd it was!
This man, whose imagination had been fed up to preternatural size
by lonely study and silent observations of his kind--whose
emotions had been drawn out long and delicate by his seclusion,
like plants in a cellar--was now absolutely in pain.


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