This put my mother into a great passion; she told me she knew it
would be to no purpose to speak to my father upon any such subject;
that he knew too well what was my interest to give his consent to
anything so much for my hurt; and that she wondered how I could
think of any such thing after the discourse I had had with my
father, and such kind and tender expressions as she knew my father
had used to me; and that, in short, if I would ruin myself, there
was no help for me; but I might depend I should never have their
consent to it; that for her part she would not have so much hand in
my destruction; and I should never have it to say that my mother
was willing when my father was not.
Though my mother refused to move it to my father, yet I heard
afterwards that she reported all the discourse to him, and that my
father, after showing a great concern at it, said to her, with a
sigh, "That boy might be happy if he would stay at home; but if he
goes abroad, he will be the most miserable wretch that ever was
born: I can give no consent to it."
It was not till almost a year after this that I broke loose,
though, in the meantime, I continued obstinately deaf to all
proposals of settling to business, and frequently expostulated with
my father and mother about their being so positively determined
against what they knew my inclinations prompted me to.
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