" This indeed was, as I said, an
excursion of his spirits, which were yet agitated by the sense of
his loss, and was farther than he could have authority to go.
However, he afterwards talked very gravely to me, exhorting me to
go back to my father, and not tempt Providence to my ruin, telling
me I might see a visible hand of Heaven against me. "And, young
man," said he, "depend upon it, if you do not go back, wherever you
go, you will meet with nothing but disasters and disappointments,
till your father's words are fulfilled upon you."
We parted soon after; for I made him little answer, and I saw him
no more; which way he went I knew not. As for me, having some
money in my pocket, I travelled to London by land; and there, as
well as on the road, had many struggles with myself what course of
life I should take, and whether I should go home or to sea.
As to going home, shame opposed the best motions that offered to my
thoughts, and it immediately occurred to me how I should be laughed
at among the neighbours, and should be ashamed to see, not my
father and mother only, but even everybody else; from whence I have
since often observed, how incongruous and irrational the common
temper of mankind is, especially of youth, to that reason which
ought to guide them in such cases - viz.
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