I left them to mourn over my folly, and now I am
left to mourn under the consequences of it. I abused their help
and assistance, who would have lifted me in the world, and would
have made everything easy to me; and now I have difficulties to
struggle with, too great for even nature itself to support, and no
assistance, no help, no comfort, no advice." Then I cried out,
"Lord, be my help, for I am in great distress." This was the first
prayer, if I may call it so, that I had made for many years.
But to return to my Journal.
JUNE 28. - Having been somewhat refreshed with the sleep I had had,
and the fit being entirely off, I got up; and though the fright and
terror of my dream was very great, yet I considered that the fit of
the ague would return again the next day, and now was my time to
get something to refresh and support myself when I should be ill;
and the first thing I did, I filled a large square case-bottle with
water, and set it upon my table, in reach of my bed; and to take
off the chill or aguish disposition of the water, I put about a
quarter of a pint of rum into it, and mixed them together.
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