Such is the uneven state of human life; and it afforded me a great
many curious speculations afterwards, when I had a little recovered
my first surprise. I considered that this was the station of life
the infinitely wise and good providence of God had determined for
me; that as I could not foresee what the ends of Divine wisdom
might be in all this, so I was not to dispute His sovereignty; who,
as I was His creature, had an undoubted right, by creation, to
govern and dispose of me absolutely as He thought fit; and who, as
I was a creature that had offended Him, had likewise a judicial
right to condemn me to what punishment He thought fit; and that it
was my part to submit to bear His indignation, because I had sinned
against Him. I then reflected, that as God, who was not only
righteous but omnipotent, had thought fit thus to punish and
afflict me, so He was able to deliver me: that if He did not think
fit to do so, it was my unquestioned duty to resign myself
absolutely and entirely to His will; and, on the other hand, it was
my duty also to hope in Him, pray to Him, and quietly to attend to
the dictates and directions of His daily providence,
These thoughts took me up many hours, days, nay, I may say weeks
and months: and one particular effect of my cogitations on this
occasion I cannot omit.
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