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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, August 8, 1917"

The clerk, whose duty it is to attend to matters of this
kind, has been reprimanded for not adding the date.
***
A small boy at Egham, arrested for breaking a bottle on the highway,
said that he did it to puncture motor tyres. If the daily bag included
only one Army motor-car, with nothing better than a Staff-Colonel as
passenger, the entertainment was considered to be well worth the risk.
***
"If I saw the last pheasant I would kill it and eat it," says Lord
Kimberley. Food hog!
***
We hear that, as a result of Herr Michaelis' disclaimer, the Germans
are about to appoint a Commission to find out who (if anybody) is
carrying on the War.
***
Women have reinforced the bell-ringers at Speldhurst, Kent. As no
other explanation is forthcoming, we can only suppose they are doing
it out of malice.
***
A man charged at a London Police Court with being drunk stated that he
had been drinking "Government ale." It appears now that the fellow was
an impostor.


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