It is a one-way affair, working only from
the inside out, for if you have a trifle of repartee to impart to the
Brazen Ones the apparatus is either indefinitely engaged, or _Na poo_
(as the French say). If you are one of these bulldog lads and are
determined to make the thing talk from the outside in, you had better
migrate _chez_ Signals, taking your bed, blankets, beer, tobacco and
the unexpired portion of next week's ration, and camp at the telephone
orderly's elbow. After a day or two it will percolate through to the
varlet's intelligence that you are a desperate dog in urgent need of
something, and he will bestir himself, and mayhap in a further two or
three days' time he will wind a crank, pull some strings, and announce
that you are "on," and you will find yourself in animated conversation
with an inspector of cemeteries, a jam expert at the Base, or the
Dalai Lama. If you want to give back-chat to the Staff you had best
take it there by hand.
A friend of mine by name of Patrick once got the job of Temporary
Assistant Deputy Lance Staff Captain (unpaid), and before he tumbled
to the one-way idea his telephone worked both ways and gave him a
lot of trouble.
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