Then the _chef d'orchestre_ suddenly sprang upon a stool and waved
above his head the stripes and stars of our newest brave Ally,
while the band crashed into the opening strains of "When de midnight
choo-choo starts for Alabam." It speaks volumes for the discipline of
the allied armies that their young subalterns stood to attention even
through that.
PATLANDER.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Sailor_ (_rebuking pessimist_). "O' COURSE SOME O'
THEM U-BOATS GETS AWAY. WOT D'YER THINK WE 'UNT 'EM WITH? FILTERS?"]
* * * * *
THE GENTLEST ART.
Private Elijah Tiddy looked at his watch. There was still half-an-hour
to the great moment for which the battalion had waited so long. Most
of the men had decided to fill up the time by eating, drinking or
sleeping, but Private Tiddy had two other passions in life--one was
his wife, and the other the gentle art of letter-writing. At all
possible and impossible moments Private Tiddy wrote letters home.
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